(un)Forgetting

Thank you. 

Thank you if you've read a status update and prayed. Thank you if you've read this and prayed. Thank you if you did either of those and said you'd pray and then forgot...that counts, we'll take it. Thank for the cards and gifts and money and food and more food. For the texts and messages and emails. For stopping me at Walmart and telling me it's okay to lie when you ask how we are. Thank you for sitting in the corner of a waiting room and not giving me easy answers. Thank you for showing up without asking, just because presence matters. If we have ever crossed your mind in the midst of your own chaos and life, THANK YOU. 

Today makes it one week. One week since we walked out of Harris and drove home. We made it two thirds of the way home and her back (lumbar drain site) started leaking. We turned around, both crying, and headed to the ER. Doctor told us to turn back around and go home and lay flat. So we did. She in the bed, me in the recliner across the room. 

"Here we go again" is all I could think. Every move she made was monitored. I stared at her incision, willing it closed. Changing her bandage and begging that a hole I could barely see to seal. It was like getting back on that roller coaster you really wish you could never ride again. I'm such a disciple. 

I've been digging around the Gospels and the stories of the disciples with Jesus. More and more I find myself drawn to them. They seem really human and I really like human. 

How long was it before Peter forgot he walked on water with Jesus? What about after they all enjoyed the wine at the party, how long before the forgot? They see him feed 5,000 and then call him a ghost. Over and over again they saw Jesus do something amazing and a chapter later they are booking it back to Emmaus. 

We have a cool story to tell. We have been blessed beyond measure. She's home, she's laughing, she's giving me orders again, and she's dry. Call me crazy, but I believe God told me a few Saturdays back to tell her he'd fix her. That he'd heal and seal her. I believe he invited us out into the water, held our hands when we got scared, didn't hesitate, and helped us walk out of that 5th floor. 

But she got a headache two nights ago and I forgot. Im such a disciple. 

"Hey Jesus, what have you done for me lately?"

I got lost in fear and anxiety. I scolded Jesus for not making this easy. I wondered, again, where he was. I'm such a disciple. 

The cool thing about reading through the Gospels...Jesus never quits or gets tired of them forgetting. He meets them on the road back to Emmaus, appears through locked doors, and even makes them breakfast on the beach. He keeps showing up and being Jesus. I'm grateful for that. 

"It's so tempting to believe that God, too, operates from the scarcity principle. But there is always enough grace. Always and ever enough." Rachel Held Evans

Try and not forget. You will. I will. We will together, probably sometime today. But try. Try and remember that God never quits, never stops running, never stops healing and sealing, never ever stops being God just because you forget. 

Keep us in your prayers and thank you for the radical hospitality you have showed my family. 

#teamhealandseal