Because I'm supposed to

This is the post where I have not written much in the past week and I think someone will be mad if I don't post. No one knows this is even here and it still haunts me.

I like making people happy, even when they don't know that they want to be happy. Some days are better than others and some days I never think about it. Today I did. So if you read this, I hope you are happy....

A wedding and a funeral...

I was asked on Tuesday to do a wedding for a patient's daughter. The next day I was asked to do a funeral for the wife of a patient I had 2yrs ago.

I'm doing the wedding because I think the mother should see her daughter get married before she dies. I don't know what responsibility I have to the couple and the commitment they are making. I'll talk about marriage soon. The wedding is about wanting to make a mother smile in her last days...maybe I'm selfish.

Tonight I'll head over to an funeral home and meet a family...again. I don't even know the woman's name. I did husband/dad/granddads service in March 2011. Haven't spoken to the family since that day. Tomorrow I'll stand up again and offer something. Seems shallow...

Seasons

Last night Alabama beat Notre Dame. In 60 short minutes college football ended. It's my favorite time of year. It means cooler air is coming and the holidays are around the corner. From the first of September through the middle of January, my Saturdays are filled with football.

Now it's over. Saturdays become about other things, but I'll always yearn for that first Saturday of September.

Life has seasons. My just happen to coincide with sports. I haven't named my seasons, but from now until April is about finding footing I think.

Im grateful for this past season. It started with a fun Saturday with friends, and red-shirt freshman, and a really good mistake at church.

Grace

I fail. A lot.

I wake up every morning determined to not fail and by the time I leave the house, I've failed at that.

I'm a failure.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world. In my failure I find grace. In my own loss, I find hope. I couldn't do what I do if I wasn't a failure.

I meet people who are dying. They have come to the end and it's very real. They, by their words, are failures. The first thing I try and tell them...I'm a failure too.

Then we decide to chase death together and find the hand of God at the end. It's beautiful actually.

I love grace.

Orthodoxy

"The word orthodox, from Greek orthos + doxa, is generally used to mean the adherence to accepted norms, more specifically to creeds, especially in religion." Wikipedia

I grew up in a wonderfully Christian family. I attended the Church of Christ for the 18yrs I lived at home (mom and dad still attend). I spent 4.5 years at Abilene Christian University. I graduated with a degree in ministry. I went directly into ministry at a good church for the next 9yrs. Needless to say, I know the accepted norms and creeds of my religious upbringing.

I have chosen to question most of them. Not reject them, just open them up and question them. I don't know if I ever got a chance to explore...that chance is now.

2013...

I have haven't posted in almost 2yrs. I don't really even know if I want to blog, but lets see if I can do this a few times a week.

It's 01-01-13...I'm a husband, dad, chaplain, and struggling follower of Christ. I lean to heavy towards grace and don't really know what it means to be orthodox. I believe that love always wins and that has lead to some scary and wonderful places. Hopefully this year will be no different....