On a boat with Jesus...

There is a story in the bible where Jesus calms a storm. It's a really neat story about the power and awesomeness of God. My favorite part of the story though is that Jesus was sleeping while all hell was breaking loose in and around the boat. The disciples, the 12 people Jesus hand picked, freaked out. Go read it...

When we go to church on a Sunday, when we sit with our small group, or when we have fancy coffee with our friends we tend talk all about how we always know Jesus is in control. We talk really good about "giving things to God" and praying and all that. Truth be told in those settings, I bet we kinda laugh at the disciples for freaking out on that boat. 

I'm guilty. I'm guilty of rolling my eyes sometimes at the weak faithed and broken people I come across. Oh them of little faith. I'm guilty of laughing at Peter for sinking in the water. Dude, it's Jesus, he's got you. I'm guilty of being over confident because after all...I'm a chaplain by trade, work at a company called Alpha Omega, worked for a church, have lots of bibles, 94.9 is a preset station in both cars, I knew about and read Jen Hatmaker well before any of you, and WE HAVE A CROSS WALL IN OUR HOUSE! I'm pretty freaking awesome. 

Last Saturday night I felt like a disciple on the boat though. I freaked out. My wife was in pain beyond belief and I couldn't make it stop. I got scared. I got pissed because Jesus was in the back of the boat sleeping and he obviously didn't care about my wife and family. Didn't matter how many Max Lucado books I had read or Crowder songs I had listened too...there in that moment...my faith-meter bottomed out like a disciple on a boat in a storm. 

I won't lie, I didn't run to wake him up. I didn't really know what to do. I curled up in the corner scared, almost believing he didn't care what happened to us. 

Right now its storming outside as I type...Stacey has had 3 surgeries in last 15 days. She's asleep right now, very comfortable. We are hoping and praying that this incision will heal and seal in the next few days. That's really all we can do. We have run to the back of the boat to shake Jesus and ask, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

Again, it's all we can do at this point. Hope and wait. 

I am a proud boat disciple who's scared and honest. Fear and doubt are real. We need to be a little more honest about that in our churches and circles. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like you can't be scared and be a disciple. You can be, I promise. I'll show you 12 really good examples. 

This storm may or may not be over for us. I have no idea what happens next, just that I'm on a boat with Jesus. 

And I'm still kinda scared...

#teamhealandseal